Inner battles


Not hungry

Only a little longer
I can stop, I am just not ready
It isn't like before.
I have an end point and it will be better.
I promise

Only a little longer
Ill count it up and cut it off
I feel fine, so I must be fine
No one can even notice anyway

Only a little longer
I think its starting to work now
A little less and I'll be perfect
I wish it would show more
I think i had too much today

Only a little longer
If I eat now then i can have water until dinner
Ill stay busy, I am not even hungry
My shirts don't fit well yet.
Just another pound

Only a little longer
Im tired, If I'm going to be lazy
I don't need as much.
Im not THAT hungry
I not getting smaller
Why am I still like this


Only a little longer
That guy in line was staring
He can see the lumps in my clothing
He must think I'm disgusting
Of course he does.

Only a little longer
Ill cut this apple in half
Thats 30 now 30 later
If I'm hungry, I might not need it.
I won't need it

Only a little longer
Im too tired, if I stay a sleep
I wont eat, my head hurts anyway
When I lay flat you can see my ribs
I am starting to look a little thinner

Only a little longer
Im fine, you cant make me eat
I've lost 25 pounds i swear
The water weight
Makes me look bloated
Thats all, ill just drink less


If I eat, Ill gain it all back
I feel heavier just thinking about it
My mind won't stop
I can't stop
I'm not hungry
I'm not hungry
I'm not.






Poetry by ashley honig
Read 404 times
Written on 2016-12-11 at 18:09

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Kathy Lockhart The PoetBay support member heart!
This is very powerful and extremely profound! You've spoke loudly and the world can hear you. I heard your whispers when they were that first thought many years ago. I can only imagine that thought was whispered into your ear...
2017-01-25


ashley honig
This is an older poem, I have two girls of my own now and I worry about them ever feeling this way. I felt like it was time I could post it in honor of my struggles and to remind me to always teach my girls they are perfect the way they are.
2016-12-13


Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
As the father of a girl who suffered from anorexia, this poem makes me very sad. Eat. The world, the people who matter, will value you as you are.
2016-12-13