i've had this poem on my desktop for a while. it's so minimalist as to be almost nonexistent. it feels incomplete, yet every line i add detracts. i'll call it a sketch.




lin has her first young man

 

he tickles her fancy

he is devoted

she shows him off

 

he does things to her

she likes

kisses and such

she likes his gentle hands

his brown eyes

 

she thinks it fun 

to have a boy

she wears him well

 

 

 

 

 

 





Poetry by one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 130 times
Written on 2026-09-05 at 02:03

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email (requires login)
dott Print text


arquious The PoetBay support member heart!
...as a vignette‑like sweep it has a complete feel to it even if as a passing vapour – perhaps just the way an autumn‑summer relational liaison would be... 👍🏻🕊️
Always, R
2026-09-06


William Hughes The PoetBay support member heart!
It is a very sweet, positive poem. I enjoy poems that at first glance seem to be incomplete or unresolved. It makes me examine the work more carefully. It's neither incomplete nor unresolved. An economy of words to express generosity and pleasure. Not enough poems written about first-love these days--or maybe even love period.
2026-09-05


Griffonner The PoetBay support member heart!
Yes, in my opinion it is finished. It is one of those poems which I love, where not only do I get encouraged to visualise the present circumstance written, but also to what isn't. Blessings, Allen

PS: Please excuse the editorial comment which isn't! I had the wrong hat on at the time. :o)
2026-09-05


Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
No, I think it is complete. I love short poems. Good for Lin and her boyfriend.
2026-09-05