one trick pony
"Inslumnational Underground," from July, seemed to herald a change in your writing. After that poem you seemed to begin experimenting with more formal verse, rhyme and stanza, and your tone changed. The more familiar voice, bold and honest and forthright became more, I don't know, professorial, less spontaneous, as if reciting from a lectern. It's been interesting following you journey, but I've missed the boldness, the "fuck yous," frankly, the sharpness, the attitude. It felt like you were holding back, biting your tongue, making the form dominant over the natural voice.

The Echo Chamber makes sense. The poems are good, and people are going to recognize that and make compliments, myself included, but I've been waiting and hoping you would bust out of the formalism, and emerge with your bold and honest and unfettered voice, better for the experimentation, but genuine, cutting through the constrictions of meter and stanza.

I know I'm going to regret posting this, I alway do when I attempt to critique. I guess what I'm saying is that I want to hear your voice, rather than being reminded of Milton or Donne.

Make sense? Well, here goes,

jim
2026-09-15

Jamsbo Rockda
That is a problem. Quite often you get told that your work is good. There is heaps of praise but not much analysis. Okay. Starting at the 3rd stanza you break the rhythm. Perhaps you wanted it that way. For me, the repetition of "I don't want no echo chamber" happens too much. I like to introduce that kind of a phrase at the beginning and return to it at the end. That's just my personal preference. Even a drunk walking by will tell you what is wrong with your broken down car. We all have our own opinions.
2026-09-15