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Marie

34 years old from USA




Thinking about my past... Don't you DARE say my mother is probably perfectly fine and that I'm just being a teenager and someday, I'll hug her and laugh at it. Don't you DARE say I don't hate my mother, that I'm just being emotional. I DO hate her!

You are the cause (Mother I HATE you)

Written 2006-04-10

Your words
are the cause
of every one
of these scars

Yet you care so little
Maybe it's that you can't handle it
But somehow I doubt it.

This one,
I made when you told me I was less important than a car
And this one,
I made just because I hate myself

I hate myself
Because of you
I don't care what you say
My father did NOT cause my mental harm
YOU did!
My father is just about the ONLY reason I'm still here!!!

At (I believe) the age 11,
I knew, if my father ever died,
I'd kill myself.

Your theories are jokes.
You suck as a parent.
If your kid cuts?
Oh well, just threaten to tell their father
And they'll be perfectly fine as you tell them you f*cking hate them

And I'm SURE a teenager can handle it
When you scream at them, insult them, and tell them they're worthless
then, when they begin to cry
Laugh and mock it, calling them a wimp.
I'm sure it's quite hilarious to you.

You: "Haha oh look! I can make my daughter cry! Oh wow! Look, those are real tears! Hahaha, what a f*cking wimp. You hear that daughter? You're a wimp. A stupid little c*nt and b*tch too. OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE TEARS!!!"

I am constantly a disappointment.
I can never do anything right.

And then how you mock me
that YOU have a boyfriend and I don't
(yet somehow your relationships never seem to work.
I don't wonder why)

Yes, I know I don't have a boyfriend.
You've made your point.
But how am I suppose to?
With this self-esteem you gave me
And the scars you caused?


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Diary

2006

April (1)
March (1)
February (2)