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F.i.in.e Moods





Current Mood:  qui sait...

Current Music:  "Crash Course in Brain Surgery" - Metallica

 

NOTE:  2022 07 13  08H10 EST  Ramblings 612 - 



Ramblings 612

Written 2022-07-14

 

Il n'y a plus rien à dire.

En réalité, l'intérêt s'est

Perdu autant pour eux

Que pour moi, et le

Tout est devenu inutile.

 

There is nothing more to say.

In truth, the interest has been

Lost as much for them

As for me, and the whole of

This has become useless.

 

Il ne reste rien de ceci

Qui berce mon coeur ou

Qui touche mon esprit,

Donc il n'y a plus de sens

De continuer ce chemin.

 

There is nothing left of this

That gently rocks my heart or

That touches my spirit,

So there is no longer any sense

To continue this path.

 

Ils passent leur temps

À se contredire, et moi,

J'en suis vraiment tannée

D'essayer de les suivre

Ou de subir les impacts.

 

They spend their time

Contradicting themselves, and me,

I'm really fed up

Of trying to follow them

Or of enduring the impacts.

 

En plus, je n'ai plus rien

À dire, plus de mots, plus

De raisons, c'est fini, mort.

Je n'ai plus envie d'accepter

Qu'on me niaise non plus.

 

Adding to that, I have nothing more

To say, no more words, no more

Reasons, it's done, dead.

I no longer feel like accepting

Being taken for an idiot either.



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Current Mood:  got the job in the end...

Current Music:  "En himmelsk drog" - Kent

 

NOTE:  2022 07 10  08H32 EST  Ramblings 611 - 



Ramblings 611

Written 2022-07-13

 

- have come a very long way and it feels like it's finally going somewhere... 

 

Don't want to let the mind run away with itself,

But at the same time, it can't help imagining

All of the possibilities of what this will mean.

 

For one, it'll restore my usefulness in society.

Two, it'll surround me with interesting people.

Three, it'll involve me in an important project.

Four, it'll make me well-off like never lived.

Five, it'll allow me to have my own life finally.

 

Don't want to let the mind run away with itself,

But still, imagining these new possibilities of a

Life I thought I'd never achieve is very exciting.

 

Some would say I should lower my expectations,

So that I don't feel too disappointed when they're

Not met, but the thing is, with the life I've had thus

Far, disappointments are in another league much

Easier to deal with, so I'm willing to take the risk. 

Plus, my feelings aren't expectations, they're facts: 

 

Things will inevitably be so much better soon,

In ways like they've never been before; 

It's no longer just a dream, it's happening now.



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Current Mood:  want to write in my language...

Current Music:  "Careless Whisper " - Seether (WHAM! cover)

 

NOTE:  2022 07 06  13H13 EST  Une nature mère-poule, je suppose... -



Une nature mère-poule, je suppose... (A Mother Goose Nature, I Suppose...)

Written 2022-07-06

 

c'est un grand souci pour moi

que tout va bien pour tout le monde

pas juste moi

je n'aime pas ça quand les gens

ne se sentent pas bien

c'est vraiment plus fort que moi

 

 

rough translation...

 

A Mother Goose Nature, I Suppose...

 

It's for me something I mind very much

that everything is going well for everyone

not just me

I don't like it when people

don't feel all right

It's for me something I really can't help



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Current Mood:  energy = -5 (on a scale of 1-10)...

Current Music:  "Marian" - Sisters of Mercy

 

NOTE:  2022 07 06  09H35 EST  I'll Keep Wondering Then Worry - 



I'll Keep Wondering Then Worry

Written 2022-07-06

 

- sorry, changes without explanations always make me wonder, then worry...

 

Ok, you got my attention.

Maybe you'd like to tell

Me what's going on,

'Cause if you expect me

To guess, that could take

A long while to happen.

 

Something's obviously

Different between us,

But it came so suddenly,

And without explanation,

It's difficult to pinpoint

What may have caused it.

 

Was it something I said?

Or did I neglect you?

Or it's nothing like that,

You're busy taking care

Of yourself and your life?

But if you don't say...



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Current Mood:  evaluating my role in life, what's most important to me...

Current Music:  "The Answer (slow version)" - Blue October

 

NOTE:  2022 07 04  10H12 EST  The Happiest Part of Life for Me -

The Happiest Part of Life for Me

Written 2022-07-04

 

One of the things

Which brings me

The most joy,

Inner satisfaction,

And meaning,

Is when I'm able

To help or assist

When it's needed.

 

Something about

Being there for

Others and being

Able to be useful,

Just does it for me.

Makes me happy,

Makes me smile

When I can make

 

'Happy' come others'

Way in that manner.

It's good feelings

All around any time

I'm successful at

Making things nicer

For people, so this is

Definitely #1 for me.



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Current Mood:  overview...

Current Music:  (none)

 

NOTE:  2022 07 01  16H00 EST  End of Interviews - 



End of Interviews

Written 2022-07-01

 

We'll get back to you

In about two weeks,

After everyone's done

With their summer vacations,

And we make sure we don't

Miss a candidate that might

Be better than you, 

You understand?

But whatever our decision,

You will hear back from us.

 

(Silent inward sigh)

Ok, thank you very much.



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