F.i.in.e Moods

- she sees it's bad enough, but not enough to do anything about it... and she has no desire to stop... we hadn't seen each other in many years, and to have seen her like this still, really tugged at my heart... I'm reflecting on it hoping I made the right decision... it wasn't an instant decision, but after a while, there didn't seem to be any other option...   

I often think about you, our friendship.

Also about our drugged-up escapades as

Teenagers.  How life was then, and how

It's turned out, all we've been through.

True, we had a complicated

Relationship, no doubt about it,

Drugs will do that, but we always had

Love for one another, no matter what.

So I want you to take my

Following words as coming

From deep within my heart:

I'm sad, 'cause you're destroying

Yourself with all of that excessive

Drinking and drugging you do daily.

You're a shell, you're gone, you're at

Critical point, you need to do something.

It's hard to see you in that state.

Harder still trying to talk, 

'Cause you're not really there,

And you're not very coherent.

It's not that I don't love you,

It's that I just don't have energy

For this kind of situation when

It's clear you have no intentions

Of stopping this hell ride you're

On, you're "fine" with it, you say.

So, just want you to know that I

Wish you well, and I'm sorry we

Won't be seeing each other

Anymore, again - you understand.

Please do take care, you deserve

So much more than this, my friend.

May you find your way out of there,

And may you hopefully do so soon.

You're not having a life right now,

You're simply killing yourself bit by bit.

Please wake up

Before it's too late.

Always with love, you

Know there'll always be.

I used to be alone

Because I couldn't

Get out from my

Bedroom walls.

Now that I'm out

From my walls,

I find that I'm just

As alone with people.

Having the walls

Made it make sense.

Without the walls,

It's kind of crushing.