One about me letting go of my anger,therefore allowing me to be at peace with myself.


The Conquest

This strange, unfamiliar placidity
Does nothing but scare the sanity out of me.
I've never felt quite this calm before,
And, to be honest, I can't say that I prefer it.
The anger that consumed me was so familiar to me.
The dull thump of apathy and worry
Constantly clouded my ability to see.

Hello?
Hello?
Are you there?
Can you hear me?

No,
No.
I am in some other place.
This person you see
Cannot possibly be me.

This is so much more than a strange, new feeling.
It's as if my entire world has melted away.
Nothing looks the same as it used to,
And I honestly do not see why things should be this way.

I miss the searing slashes of sorrow,
And the way my heart broke,
Every time you walked through the door.
I pine for the nights spent crying myself to sleep...
(And this sick addiction does nothing but frighten me)

Shouldn't I welcome this feeling,
And smile at the promise of another chance?
I don't understand why I can't let it go,
And allow myself the happiness I deserve.

It is time to end these childish games
Where you test just how much I can take.
Clearly, I am finally strong enough,
Now it is time for me to leave that bitter place.

I welcome this serene feeling of exultance,
With an open mind and an unburdened heart.
I am tired of not allowing myself to live my life,
And allowing you to completely tear me apart.



Poetry by Amanda Manmohan
Read 514 times
Written on 2006-05-11 at 05:30

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Zoya Zaidi
That is the spirit my girl!
I just love the last lines.
Don't allow any body to tear you apart!
No, body, just nobody, is important enough to destroy yourself for!
Just nobody in this world.
My mother said this to me once...
and since then I have ceased to suffer!

Always remember these words of mine.
Love, xxx, Zoya
2006-05-11



As I wrote to someone earlier in the week, pain and sorrows, joy and happiness, are all part of our lives. It will be difficult to live one without the other. Notice! Everything has an opposite and I presume that God designed it that way for us to maintain a proper equilibrium. Tyranny comes in many forms and your anguish is just one of the many forms. Perhaps if you look at it through this prism it may open your mind to some thoughts that may help. "Tyranny, like Hell, is not easily conquered, but we have a consolation within us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph." Even in our sleep, pain which we cannot forget falls drop by drop unto the heart, until in our despair, and against our will, comes wisdom from the awesome grace of God. Another heart felt write you have penned.
2006-05-11