I promise you a mediocre time.  The house is cool.
I'm sure there's something here to eat.  Someone
Will come to bend your ear with gossip, tales
Of chronic ailments, and/or bad career advice.
You'll learn there's nowhere you can hide.  If you
Should brave the heat outside, the dog will come
And lick your legs.  A brace of children will emerge.
At first, they'll play among themselves, but, soon
Enough, they'll start to cry.  It's sweat with them 
Or come inside to endure all the whiny parents.
Either way, I'm sure you'll have a mediocre time.