They were on the news a while back, so it may be that you have already heard them but I have to share them just in case you haven't. They are wonderful--at least in my opinion they are.
This lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back seat of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get the key into the ignition. She tried and tried. And then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces further down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter where four men, white as a sheet, were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than 5 feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. The admonition that goes with this story is simply this: If you are going to have a senior moment, make it a dandy.
This one was also in the paper. Now if you will indulge me, there is one more law enforcement-related story that my pastor told several weeks ago that may also bring a smile to your face. I'm sure you will agree that we all need a break from time to time to relieve stress and to keep our perspective in these dangerous and uncertain times. This story goes that the local police chief and a new pastor, who had recently come to town, had become good friends. This friendship grew and soon they began to meet each morning for coffee at the local diner, just so they could spend some quality time together.
One day during this time, a man came running in and said, "Chief, you have got to come quick. There has been a shooting down at the hotel." The chief jumped up and said, "Come on pastor, I may need you." When they got there, a woman was standing over a man's body with a gun, still smoking, in her hand. She said, "Oh how I loved you!" Since she still had the smoking gun in her hand, the chief was somewhat reluctant to challenge her. Once more this woman said, "Oh, how I loved you!" The chief turned to his pastor friend and said, "What do you think we ought to do?" The pastor said, "I'm going to get out of here before she falls in love with me."
Poetry by Damon
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Written on 2008-08-07 at 08:45
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Two True Stories
I ran across a humorous story that I believe you will enjoy, and it has an ending that you will never expect. This story, again supposedly true, comes from the Orange County Sheriff's Office in the great state of Florida. It seems an elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.This lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back seat of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get the key into the ignition. She tried and tried. And then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces further down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter where four men, white as a sheet, were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than 5 feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. The admonition that goes with this story is simply this: If you are going to have a senior moment, make it a dandy.
This one was also in the paper. Now if you will indulge me, there is one more law enforcement-related story that my pastor told several weeks ago that may also bring a smile to your face. I'm sure you will agree that we all need a break from time to time to relieve stress and to keep our perspective in these dangerous and uncertain times. This story goes that the local police chief and a new pastor, who had recently come to town, had become good friends. This friendship grew and soon they began to meet each morning for coffee at the local diner, just so they could spend some quality time together.
One day during this time, a man came running in and said, "Chief, you have got to come quick. There has been a shooting down at the hotel." The chief jumped up and said, "Come on pastor, I may need you." When they got there, a woman was standing over a man's body with a gun, still smoking, in her hand. She said, "Oh how I loved you!" Since she still had the smoking gun in her hand, the chief was somewhat reluctant to challenge her. Once more this woman said, "Oh, how I loved you!" The chief turned to his pastor friend and said, "What do you think we ought to do?" The pastor said, "I'm going to get out of here before she falls in love with me."
Poetry by Damon
Read 496 times
Written on 2008-08-07 at 08:45
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
