tempest leaves

   drives east to the high desert

for a long weekend

virgil hears, somehow or other

   sleeps with hill

tempest comes back earlier than expected

finds virgil's car parked outside hill's apartment

   tempest ponders 

drives around awhile, comes back

virgil is gone, hill in her silk kimono

   still a bit overheated

virtually dares tempest, are you scared

hill still warm inside, and wet

life happens, make a fuss about it or don't

~

tempest runs into virgil

   sometime later

he’s on his way to a football game

asks her if she wants to go

   she says no

but soon after changes her mind

she can’t find him, it’s too late, the moment’s past

   she kicks herself for saying no 

for saying no for the wrong reasons

because virgil is a sweet guy

   and has needs

like anyone else, and it would have been fun

yeah, such is life, it happens

but sometimes it gets away from you

~

tempest and hill drift, they meet terri

   it all falls apart

no one was meant to get hurt

but somehow everyone gets hurt

   except terri

it's water off a duck's back to her

she's that way, always happy

   tempest

has no idea how to be happy

never has been, and never will be

    but this is heaven

though the sight of a grieving hill is hard to take

sad eyes

a combination of sorrow and daggers

~

months pass, tempest and terri are in love

   tempest

tries to be someone she is not

which is doomed to fail

   and does

but it takes time, for now it's peaches and cream

terri is a dream, teaches tempest

   about life

about happiness and generosity

how to give and receive

   it's la la la

playing dolphins in the salty sea

deep diving and deep breaths

coming up for air, pretending nothing is real

~

i know how their story ends

   they don’t

they’re still in in, it’s their moment, their world

they are happy, astonishingly so, sitting on the bed

   side by side, reading

reaching out to touch, just to make sure

music playing, sun shining through curtained window

   it is magical

the sensations otherworldly

i know how it ends, they’re not there yet

   i want them to have this time

because it is good, and tempest is as happy as she ever will be

sometimes you live in the moment, let what comes, come

deal with the mess later

~

but what of hill

   undone

by the sudden turn of events

alone and lonely

   thinking

i thought i’d never care, but she did care

she was the earth-mother, always giving

   freely

never asking for anything in return

but this hurts, this abandonment hurts 

   down to the bone

she is heartsick, grieving

there are no footsteps on the stairs

no one comes knocking

~

a year goes by, maybe more

    terri is gone

somewhere, who knows, no one knows

or really cares, hill has found friends 

   tempest

is in another relationship

one of a series, serial monogamy

   playing fast and loose

with her heart, none of it seems to matter

time passing too quickly,  she wants

   permanence

she wants something to stick

she wants someone to stick

she’s ready 

~

tempest and hill’s paths cross 

   not infrequently

tempest walks with eyes averted

hill stares with deep hatred

   betrayal 

not a word is spoken

but tempest hears—why

   tempest

has no idea why, it just is, is life

sometimes it goes awry, she remembers

   in particular

one weekend they spent in the mountains

by a lake, sunning on the rocks

deep blue sky

~

evergreens and aspens, summer wildflowers

   it felt staged, a set-piece

she was supposed to be happy

they went through the motions

   in the end

things were no different

still restless, there had been 

   no vows

no words of commitment, it wasn’t even implied

so now, eyes averted, human frailty

   human pain

one hurting another without knowing why

no resolution, no closure

no affection

~

robin, jane, others, nothing sticks

   terri

a memory, nothing stuck there

sweet as is was, until it wasn’t

   life happens

gets complicated, jobs and moves and time passing

deadlines and schedules get in the way

    no time to make a life

relationships take work, work is work

it can be grim, feels forced, drinking with friends

   the bars

the laughter, ha ha, the emptiness

two people once so entwined

now alone, each alone

~

more time passes, hill is okay

   not great

finds a career, is okay, not great

tempest wins the lottery

   no, not literally

but finds what she wants

finds someone, is found by someone 

   learns it is hard

maybe not so many fireworks, but so good

so good to love and be loved

   give and receive

touch and be touched, yes, terri taught her that

life happens, it just does. i don’t know the ending

not yet, it’s happening as i write 

 `