December 15, 2020.
and if he wasn't mad at me, is he now --because i asked?

misguided lover

i sense when things are wrong
but i always think it's me
i'm a misguided lover full of self loathing

i feel your energy shift
i know when your jaw clenches
even with lavender oil on my palms, i still feel the tension

i know each night when you'll forget to say you love me
you'll be in bed sleeping peacefully
and i'm left waiting on the three words that determine my worth

when your tone raises
my body flinches
i always expect the final blow

i don't think that you might be tired
or that you have a lot on your plate
i think what a horrible pest i am to have gotten in your way

and with my voice wavering
my heart full of unconditional love and aching
i have to ask, "are you mad at me?"

Poetry by aidan haskel
Read 50 times
Written on 2020-12-15 at 19:22

Tags Love  Relationships  Anxiety 

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