I do not know

I do not know how to think or feel,
my purpose seems clouded with judgement,
are these my onyx days, I could not say
self doubt is my constant companion,

I flit from thought to action and then back
each time, one is so diverse from the other.
I imagine scenarios, then dismiss them
the idle foolishness for what they probably are.

Do I keen, do I even wail, of that I am unsure,
regret is, I suppose a luxury for the living
and oh, I am alive, in a sort of strange bubble
I think, I feel, I contradict my own emotions.

I wash my hands in the muddied waters
of my existence, and like the silver fish
I am just a flitting shadow into the depths
my shine, just a memory for another day.

Oh God I do not know how to think or feel
has my world tilted upon its axis
or is this the new order, askance, limbs
akimbo a piety in a moribund of self pity.

I do not know, still as confused as a newborn
but left wondering at the perversity of life
eyes wide mouth open in astonishment and awe,
I do not know, I am bereft in a world of confusion.

Poetry by Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 281 times
Written on 2021-10-03 at 16:36

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Alan J Ripley The PoetBay support member heart!
Hi elle, you got me from the first line to the last,
I feel the same I think I do or do I?
I still wash my hands in muddied water,
It's hard to get the dirt off.
And my world tilts all the time throwing me off balance,
Which is confusing in itself.
But the past is past you cannot,
Dare not throw yourself away.
When others feel the same.

I was intrigued right through to the end. Confusion reigns on both sides here, sometimes it's hard to get on to an even keel of rationalism, you portray this so well.