I do not knowI do not know how to think or feel,
my purpose seems clouded with judgement,
are these my onyx days, I could not say
self doubt is my constant companion,
I flit from thought to action and then back
each time, one is so diverse from the other.
I imagine scenarios, then dismiss them
the idle foolishness for what they probably are.
Do I keen, do I even wail, of that I am unsure,
regret is, I suppose a luxury for the living
and oh, I am alive, in a sort of strange bubble
I think, I feel, I contradict my own emotions.
I wash my hands in the muddied waters
of my existence, and like the silver fish
I am just a flitting shadow into the depths
my shine, just a memory for another day.
Oh God I do not know how to think or feel
has my world tilted upon its axis
or is this the new order, askance, limbs
akimbo a piety in a moribund of self pity.
I do not know, still as confused as a newborn
but left wondering at the perversity of life
eyes wide mouth open in astonishment and awe,
I do not know, I am bereft in a world of confusion.
Poetry by Elle
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Written on 2021-10-03 at 16:36
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Alan J Ripley
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