August 30, 2022.


autophobia

an open book used to being shushed
defensive walls ten foot high
but riddled with convenient holes that say,
"come in, please try"

I tell myself it is manipulative
my emotions and my needs
every handwritten, scented letter and small gift
- just so they won't leave

- but wanting friends is not evil
I am not the monster I paint myself to be
just a timid child who is eager for company
one who cuts out my heart and apologizes for bleeding

when the noise in my mind allows me to breathe,
I know these aren't favors in exchange for empathy
but I was never good at making friends
abandonment had placed this insecurity that I'm undeserving

so why else would they linger
what benefits do I provide
I'm shifty sand that won't allow stability
in my own little life






Poetry by aidan haskel The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 59 times
Written on 2022-08-30 at 08:49

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Griffonner The PoetBay support member heart!
Hand written scented letters would do it for me! I would recognise the effort and the intent as would many other people. Lift your eyes as high as your heart can soar and know you are a unique and essential part of everything. Great heartfelt poem.
Blessings and love, Allen
2022-08-30