September 15, 2022.

but no more giving

I admit I've had a strange reputation
I was known as the kid with doodles on their palms,
head always in a book, and though timid and shy
- dressed like the strangest little bird on this mountain side

Most of that is still the case,
though I lost the energy to care about a lot of things -
that once meant everything to me,
and they had turned me into some sob story, unfortunately

Grief had hollowed me out,
and they placed their funeral candles in my mouth -
after they carved a smile into me like a jack-o-lantern
Just to be there with me for one night out of many

But recently, my mind has been improving
I never considered myself a fighter -
but I was a kicker and a screamer when it came to surving
and that's something I've learned to appreciate

When you start to hold your own,
and the weights aren't as heavy on your feet
People notice the shifting of your energy,
and find out you value yourself more

They take offense to the no's you suddenly say,
They gossip about just how much you have changed
They're not satisified with me in any form,
but at least the hurt version of myself was easily torn

- so they could scavenge for my spare pieces
I hadn't realized just how convenient my breakdowns were
Used to be just a welcome mat covered in tracks
Built myself shelter and they come for what I now have

Poetry by aidan haskel The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 70 times
Written on 2022-09-15 at 07:42

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