MY LIFE ITSELF
Why do I feel down all the timeWhat is inexplicably inside me
That always makes me down
This is the question I asked myself,
Is it my dementia that's holding me down.
That makes me feel like I'm drowning.
I'm lost in a crowded place to many to face,
They don't see me standing in plain sight,
Wishing I had died, With no place to hide.
I guess I must have had better day's as a child,
It's difficult to remember with no real friends,
Being used as a punch bag, Inside feeling died.
My nightmares grew each and every day,
I would always try to hide myself away.
Although I would strive to survive I couldn't.
So at the tender age of 18, I moved away.
From the bullying that happened everyday,
And the only one that cared I'd moved away.
From eastbourne to London quite an event,
Finding a bedsite was fun I had to pay rent,
A one room apartment money well spent.
Finally free from the bullying and family,
Finding a job was easier than I thought it would be,
Phoning home so they wouldn't worry about me.
Two years had passed me by, moving very fast,
Deciding to move back home languishing in my past.
To begin my life anew for me the die was cast.
Moving in with my ex girlfriend was the right thing for us,
We meet when she was sweet sixteen she never made a fuss.
Her mum welcomed me with open arms her family not so much.
They were fun times together, With many more beside,
Our love was translucent, always holding hands.
It wasn't long before I asked her to be my bride.
Surprised by her families reaction, They said it wouldn't last,
We both had thing's that had happened to us, That was in our past,
We never kept secrets, Bullying for me, orphanage for her.
It would take to long to say how much love we shared,
Her family wasn't interested in either of us, in fact they never cared.
But we always had one another's backs with the love we shared.
As we grow old together, The more we grow in love.
I've never considered myself a religious person, I have my own beliefs.
We're never separate in the way we feel for that I'd thank our god above.
Poetry by Alan J Ripley
Written on 2026-04-26 at 14:06
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