R.K.Singh
I am sure, Rik's comments would help every reader finding difficulty with other's expressions. I fully agree with my poet friend.
R K
2006-04-27

Rik
This Haiku conjures images in my mind. Exactly what poetry is meant to do. Now the images, like the dragons play in the whirlwind, should be unfettered for every reader to enjoy as they wish.

English grammar and structure puts a straight jacket on communication. Language and poetry is a communication not a competition in perfection. It has its place but in my opinion not necessarily in poetry. Not in the poetry i prefer to read anyway. Now that is my opinion based on my small window on the world. If i don't like a persons poem that is my personal choice. But i will not tear down their enjoyment of expression based on that personal opinion.

I enjoyed this read. I enjoyed that it made me think. Good stuff.
2006-04-25

chasingtheday
english is international, but one has to use the flow and rhythm of it correctly, in this piece you do not, simple as that. the second line is clumsy, it stops the reader moving along the flow of the poem.
2005-09-13

R.K.Singh
Hi, haiku dream, Jewelia, and chasingtheday: I read your comments with interest. You seem alright in your own way. It's perhaps the cultural difference, and the difficulty of the imagery and the associated myths and legends, that the haiku could not make the same appeal as it could on oriental readers.
But, if haiku in English is truly international, such difficulties should not arise. Your views give me an opportunity to think how to write what is generally familiar to audiences, irrespective of differences in culture, nationality or regions.
R K
2005-09-13

Jewelia
I'm sorry but i'll have to agree with the previous comment. I had to read the poem three times to make any sense of it. Please know that I really like the poem, it's just that it needs to be saved by some rephrazing or perhaps a couple of good old commas.
2005-09-02

chasingtheday
this one doesn't seem to make any sense at all. the middle line - among the clouds meet and rain? it just doesn't flow very well at all. i know you are following on from play whirlwind but it still doesn't work in so short a piece to have two thoughts stemming in one line.
2005-08-30