Number two of the true stories from the family annals

The Missing Guinea-pig - From the family annals No 2

Chunky was a guinea-pig:
As cavies go, he was quite big.
From whiskers down to tail-less rump
He really was a heffalump!*

Chunky's choicest occupation
Was twenty-four-hour mastication.
In the garden he would roam,
Never going far from home,

Eating lushest grass and lazing,
Then waking up to do more grazing,
We never had to trim the lawn-
With Chunky's help it was well-shorn.

At last he'd start to make his way
Back to his cage at close of day.
Until, one day, he failed to come
To sleep inside his cosy home:

Friutlessly we called and called,
All round the garden, too, we crawled
Searching for the missing pet
We children getting so upset

Did he just go away to die
In the guinea-pigs' sweet bye-and-bye?
Or was he wandering hopelessly
In someone else's property?

The night drew in, it was too late
But we were in a sorry state!
To bed we went, but could not rest
Too many fears within our breasts.

Next day was Sunday, bright and clear,
But no squeaks from Chunky did we hear,
So once again to search we tried,
Spreading out both far and wide:

The streets, the gardens all around
Yet still no Chunky could be found.
At last, Mum said 'You just keep looking
But we must eat I'll start the cooking'

The meat was sizzling merrily
So mum went in the cool pantry
For vegetables to prepare
When suddenly she got a scare!

'What's there?' She screamed, 'Is that a rat?'
Why, no, it's Chunky VERY FAT!
He lay inside the veggie rack
Panting gently, on his back,

His stomach swollen with OUR food!
Dad was in a dreadful mood -
On his plate just spuds and meat,
No veggies left for us to eat.

He'd really munched the basket clean,
Not one small carrot could be seen.
So if you have a guinea-pig
Especially one that's rather big,

Don't let him near you Sunday dinner
Or he'll get fat while you get thinner.


Poetry by Marie Cadavieco The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 716 times
Written on 2009-05-15 at 17:21

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Alan J Ripley The PoetBay support member heart!
Loved this.
I used to live in a close,
Big green in the middle used to take my guinea pig out
To run. Someone thought it was clever to rev their
Engine, she made a little noise and shot up the
Nearest drain pipe. luckily her bottom was just
Big enough for me to grab, The coming weeks
It must have looked strange taking a guinea pig
Out on a leash.

This is a well constructed, lovely tale.
Was it Wol who coined heffalump??
Thank you for the smile on my face,

I got a kick out of this poem. Not my style of writing, but we all need laughs. Great work.