Hi Boa, I would have had the punctuation slightly differently, like this.

Deceived Beliefs

I believed
I was me.

But
God only lied,
I was not free.

I was deceived.
I couldn't see,

And
when I died,
I ceased to be.


I took care of the title too, hoped you would not mind?

Well done.

Smiling at you

Tai
2009-08-22

Boa Berg
Tai it is, not Thai.

Sorry about that.

Have I done the corrections correctly?
2009-08-22

Boa Berg
Thank you Thai.

I don't hav any english spelcheck on my computer.
I have the swedish version of word.

I will try to correct it.
2009-08-22

'i' before 'e' accept after 'c' and 'ceased' on the last line would correct the spelling.

A triffling little poem about the fragility of being you.

I would suggest running your work through the spellchecker before posting in future, but even that is foolable.

Smiling at you

Tai
2009-08-22

Kathy Lockhart
look around! You're still here. Welcome to Poetbay. : ) kathy
2009-08-22