Doesnt really feel right this one .... no matter how much i tweak it =/

feedback greatly appriciated for this one ;)


Life's Full of Surprises

After all this time , after all these ups and downs

Never thought it would be you

After all the betrayals and backstabs

Never thought it would be you

After the heartbreak and the sorrow

Never thought it would be you

The abuse and the tears, the hate and the rage

Never thought it would be you

Between a rock and a hard place, choosing between life or death

Never thought it would be you

After all this time... All the emotions and feelings wrapped around in one large mess

Who woulda thought it'd be you i still trust ....
You i still turn to in my times of need ....
You i would trust my life to ...

And would give up everything just to see you smile

Not I ....

Never thought it would be you

~But i'm so glad it was~.........xx





Poetry by ~Johny~
Read 801 times
Written on 2010-03-03 at 20:24

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email (requires login)
dott Print text


Holly Andrews
i rly rly rly love this one :) <3 xx
2010-03-08


The toe nail
Very nice poem darling xD
2010-03-04


FrannieXxX
love you to john lol.... xD
smile it will make u happy lol :P
2010-03-04


MIK136PARKS
this is brilliant john john how can it not feel right it expresses greatly friendship and trust superbly written

MIK
2010-03-04


~Johny~
P.S meant to say thank you for the compliments as well =) much appriciated =)
2010-03-03


~Johny~
Ok thank you kindly for that ..... i've changed it around a bit hopefully its a bit better

Further critisicm accepted XD
2010-03-03


Rob Graber
PS: Nice use of apostrophe in the title's contraction, BTW!
2010-03-03


Rob Graber
I admit it: this caught my attention due to the perfect use of capitalization in the title! I think the poem would be improved by dropping the tilde-type curlies and strange intra-line capitalizations, and by somehow shortening the long lines at the end.

I do think it is a good write; being both romantic and realistic is always a tall order!
2010-03-03