MY HAND HELD OUT

My hand held out
in the dark remained empty:
no one reached it
to give joy of
the meeting hands



Haiku by R.K.Singh
Read 707 times
Written on 2005-07-26 at 06:21

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blackestdaze
The simplicity of this is nice. Perhaps, though, you would consider changing the last line from "the meeting hands" to "meeting hands"? The "the" in that line seems to be an unnecessary word, and is confusing-it makes the meeting hands specific, while "no one" seems to make the desired touch simply needed, not needed from a specific person. Aside from that issue, this is a well written work.
2005-07-26