This is a mutated sonnet from a rough time I had a couple weeks ago.
It uses 8-6-8-6 Syllables for lines and the rhythm isn't the best, but I liked it so let me know what you think.

Duckian Sonnet I (I miss the way you smile at me)

I miss the way you smile at me
and sleeping in your arms.
Oh cheery boy where can you be
with Love and warmth and charm?
My dear your eyes deep sapphire blue
bright shining with your smile
so sadly now seem glazed with dew,
tears fought back quite a while.
Oh Love what remedy is there
to cure this great sadness,
which plagues your countenance so fair
and makes the world a mess?
True hope exists my Love
and fates will change life from above.

Poetry by Ducks
Read 612 times
Written on 2011-10-18 at 04:33

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I really love your expressions here; the title in particular effectively captures the longing and frustration of seeing a loved one go through hard times and wondering when things will get better.

One thing I will say is that sometimes it feels like you're forcing yourself and your piece to rhyme and stay in a meter...maybe try writing it with no form or rhyme scheme whatsoever, and see what happens?

Beautiful write!