IB M

je ne sais pas pourquoi tu m'aimes autant,

mais merci pour tout ce que tu fais...

tu es resté à mes côtés au travers de tant

et tu m'as apporté tant de soutien, tant d'amour...

au fil des ans, tu es devenu une voix importante

dans ma vie, tu m'as toujours bien conseillé...

je ne serais pas où je suis rendue si je ne t'avais

pas eu dans ma vie, ton impact n'est que positif...

je ne sais pas pourquoi tu m'aimes tant,

mais j'me sens chanceuse de t'avoir rencontré...

Not going so well,

I'm feeling like I'm

Coming undone,

Something's wrong.

I can't well explain

What's going on, but

It's throwing me off kilter

Big time, and I'm afraid.

So I'll be away for a

While, don't know for

How long, but I need to

Not stay alone with this,

'Cause I'm just not gaining

The control I need to stop.

If I stay here, I'll do it and

End up killing myself again.

But the next time, I'm sure

That I won't be coming back.

It's happened too many times

Already having to be revived.

This probability is no doubt

On its very last stretches, and

I really don't want to find out.

So to avoid doing what I know

I'll keep doing, I'll be committing

Myself this time before another

Situation arises where that decision

Is made for me out of emergency.

I can't well explain

What's going on, but

It's throwing me off kilter

Big time, and I'm afraid.

I don't want to die.

I can only imagine
The look you'd have
On your face if you
Saw the shape I'm in.

So I'm feeling relieved
You're not here to see.
Aside the worry, there'd
Be the care you'd give.

Considering the situation,
I'd rather you conserved
Your emotional resources
For more deserving others.

You have to remember, I
Did this all on my own,
Knowing full well where
It'd lead, did it anyway.

I'm an absolute idiot, and
I'd rather not affect you.
I'm really not worth all
The affection you give me.

Why is it that your first move's
Always to be so cruel to yourself?
Why's it so difficult for you to cut
Yourself some well-deserved slack?

The things you say to yourself are
Nothing you'd ever say to someone else.
So, why do you tear yourself to pieces?
You're so cold, ruthless when it's you.

Never once have you ever treated anyone
That way, it's so against your nature,
So, why are you so vicious to yourself?
Think about that for a moment, please.

- shifting the perspective...

Because you cannot be doing things
Like this without putting everyone
On edge about you and making them
Feel you are a danger to yourself,
You have to expect the response to
Be you getting committed to a ward
Without the need for your consent.

Because of what you did and how it
Came about for you to do it, they
Naturally assessed a serious danger.
Agreed, it is a very humiliating place
To be in, but you clearly needed help,
They could not leave you to your own in
This state. Surely, you realize that?

Try to see it from another perspective,
They had to work hard to bring you back,
And they do not do that when things are
Going well, you know? Forget your shame,
Your embarrassment, and do take the help -
Maybe this time you will find the missing
Bit that will finally make it all stop.

After all, you have come this far...
Tell me, what do you have to lose?
You have figured out a whole lot
Of other difficult stuff already.
Remember, some took a lot of time
For you to resolve, so it is not
Outside the realm of possibilities

That you can for this one too.
You have to keep on trying, ok?