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Inspired

33 years old from India




It's not you, it's me

Written 2020-09-24

I'll still be me
But just know that you broke me a bit
Not that you need to change you
Just that I need to be less breakable.


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could be improved on, i know

 



How to hate: One thing my mom never taught me

Written 2007-09-12

 

 

I can never hate anyone. No matter how much they hurt me. I’m just made like that.

Hate is not something I have learnt.

I know the words that love requires

And the silences it inevitably acquires

But I’ve never looked hate in the face.

I couldn’t tell if it was standing right in front of me.

 

I could hate if I wanted to. Maybe I already do. But I don’t know that I’m doing it. Maybe it’s what I’ve done all my life with people who have hurt me.

I’ve dubbed it.

Called it hurt

They’re synonymous, aren’t they?

hate, hurt

 

I should hate people who

Hurt me

That’s my rule

But I can’t

I haven’t learnt how

to be bitter

to mutter curses

to not be able to face them

but that’s cowardly.

That would be extremely shameful

Why should I hide away

I hate, I hurt

Or they hurt, I hate

Or they hurt because they hate?

I don’t know hate

I can’t recognize it.

I’m naïve

Unaware of

Indifferent to

Gullible

Hate-does it induce hurt?

Hurt-does it induce hate?

 



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Diary

2020

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2007

September (1)