November 8, 2020.
a mime that likes dialogue
there's a certain sophistication in communication
that i like to observe but never engage in
i'm a shoulder shrugger and thoughtful nodder
a good listener but never the problem solver
and i've noticed that on a day when i use my voice
it almost always goes hoarse
my vocal cords are deteriorating
and with every crack i hear myself fading
i can never order my own food when i'm out
i stick to the same items at each place
choice is nerve wrecking and so is speaking aloud
i don't want to waste time, stutter, or hear my voice break
took me years to get the nerve to check out at stores
i count my money five times before i even get in line
polite conversation they make terrifies me to my core
and none of my family or friends understand why
i'm a mime that likes dialogue
with a tongue that keeps being bitten
i punish myself in that way; in fear of being wrong
my thoughts only have me as a witness
never the hand raiser but a forward thinker
never the slam poet or the ice breaker
just a mime that likes to study minds and tinker
but abandons mine like i'm a paper shredder
always gathering data and taking notes
learning social cues and doesn't dare to interrupt
i'm a gentle nudge, i'm an angry whisper
a book with the pages ripped out and my mouth full of blisters
Poetry by aidan haskel
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Written on 2020-11-08 at 19:38
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