May 9, 2019. 




a n x i e t y

My eyes opened all at once, startled by the sound of her being distraught.

They flung open like a screendoor and closed with a slam.

In a house as quiet as this, a knock such as that is a gunshot and you can hear the windows whisper and the walls talk.

 

And I laid in the messy bed I haven't made and thought.

I was thinking about the beautiful sound the clock made when I threw it against the hardwood resulting in a wham.

In a mind as loud as this, you'll embrace denial over acknowledging being distraught.

 

So when asked about my current state and all the symptoms its brought,

I simply ignored the pounding at the door and focused on the slight tremble of my hand.

In days as suffocating as this, I don't want to hear the same uninspired talk.

 

And when my darling vistor begged and pleaded for the door to be unlocked,

I did us both a favor and ignored her simple demands.

Because in comforting and courteous lies such as, "I'm fine" I know you'll just hear that I'm distraught.

 

I may know that I am, but I also want to believe that I'm not.

Saying the truth may only make the issue expand.

In a diagnosis as severe as this, I'll ponder my strength and the voice in my head that talks.

 

If I didn't know any better, I'd say I've gotten worse and that my nerves are completely shot.

For the first time my life seems to be put together so I don't really understand.

In a success story progressing as far as this, why do I feel distraught?

Does the applause become a pressure and the encouragement to small talk?

 

 

 





Poetry by aidan haskel
Read 664 times
star mini Editors' choice
Written on 2019-05-09 at 08:38

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email
dott Print text


Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!
During the month of August, the PoetBay community was asked to go back in time (2005-2020) to nominate memorable poems they have come across on the site. Congratulations! Yours was chosen to be featured on the home page. Thank you for posting on our poetry website!
2020-09-02



I want to give encouragement, but I'm not sure if that suits well, accept it then as a polite nod to your talents. Anxiety is a hateful beast and to capture it with such stark reality of being in its claws is talent, simply put
2019-06-02



An innovative and surprising villanelle!

I plan to spend some time absorbing and appreciating this poem. Excellent work, Aidan!
2019-05-09