orchestrations (pantoum challenge)


look at the sun setting over these live-oak hills

colin working along the rows of vines 

his grandfather musing on the patio

marketa at work correcting papers


colin works along the rows of vines

while i record the events around me

marketa putting down her corrected papers

colin's grandfather sipping his glenlivet


i record the languid events around me

subtle movement among the otherwise still life

such as colin's grandfather sipping glenlivet

or black-headed vultures circling overhead


subtle movement against an otherwise still life

orchestrations of the scene before me

black-headed vultures circling overhead

riding thermals to a rhythm seemingly conducted


as orchestration to the scene before me

conducted by an unseen hand, grace and light

riding thermals in gentle rhythm, seemingly conducted

by her hand, light as a feather, lightness incarnate


conducted by her unseen hand, graceful and light

scoring the scene with strains of imagination

her hand, light as a feather, lightness incarnate

conducting the setting sun over these live-oak hills




Poetry by one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 447 times
Written on 2020-01-17 at 22:35

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Kathy Lockhart The PoetBay support member heart!
This is so very beautiful.

MetaPoetics The PoetBay support member heart!
You indeed record the events around and tell us a beautiful story, even when writing in a closed-form. I especially like the subtle differences you make when repeating the same line in the next stanza.

A joy to read. Bravissimo!

liz munro The PoetBay support member heart!
A rather excellent pantoum