This isn't exactly up to my usual standard, but I'm angry and short on time. Maybe I'll fix it up later if the bones are right.


And still I'm the criminal.

I'm not even sure why I'm writing.
Most of my time is spent lying.
I serve these vacant faces in angry places,
haunted by hopes of affecting changes,
illegally offering remediation to ungrateful strangers.

And still I'm considered the criminal.

I'm a federal fugitive living under an umbrella of waste.
My crimes protected by state agencies which agreed
that my empathy, though not worth a conviction, provides opportunity for taxation without representation.

And still I'm the criminal.

My uniform makes me stand out.
The point of a nail exposed through the frame
of shoddy craftsmanship, waiting for a vacant face
to mindlessly catch their flesh and squirm in mild discomfort.

And that's all it would take. One mindless, or apathetic, patient.

And it all collapses.

"But he said I could -" Nope.
"But I figured that -" Nope.
"But reddit says -" Nuh-uh.

None of that matters. I'm a federal fugitive.
One misinterpretation and my word becomes a felony.
Working in a burnout factory,
playing with fire,
praying to a God I dont believe in for clarity.

And still I'm the criminal.

When I show a septuagenerian that a few drops of this, and a bite of that, takes the tremors of her Parkinsons away.

When I show a veteran that a few puffs of this, and a sip of that, make Fourth of July fireworks less nightmare fuel and more family fun.

When I show a rape victim it's still possible for them to go shopping for groceries without collapsing into a fit of anxiety and rage by keeping a few of my hard candies in their pocket for breakthrough flashbacks.

And still I'm the criminal.

When my rage boils over and my 57 hour week is benefit free, overly taxed, and untipped.

When my PTSD flares because a cop asks to search my car after reading the bold letters on my uniform.

When my anxiety and rage flare in public places because it's illegal for me to carry my own candies.

And still I am the criminal.






Poetry by Phill
Read 158 times
Written on 2021-05-23 at 19:06

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email (requires login)
dott Print text


F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
This creates an impact that I find can't leave the reader unaffected. Although the specific topic isn't obvious, it's clear the emotions are nearing the point of overflow. For me, as I read this, I got the impression of a presentation of many situations that revolve around "doing the right thing" vs. situations where following the rules brings more harm. I like that the catalyst isn't known 'cause what follows really grabs attention. And the way you've expressed it, really sends my mind to many interesting thoughts. So, I really enjoyed this, thanks.
2021-05-27


one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
I'm not sure what to say, and I'm not sure I understand this, but I did feel the intensity of your written words, and know that whatever is behind those words is significant.
2021-05-24