Steel lines

Steel lines stretch right back
to the last words you said
razor tears have bled
into the sands of time
and i have faded
from all your dreams.

An angels voice holds my mind
and i think of you
you smile from the window
and i say good-bye
the train comes rushing
crashing through my skull
unbearable noise collides
into unbearable noise.

The sun begs forth another day
the song birds sing to the aching dawn
and the crows
well the crows can feast
until they can feast no more
and the last of my shadow
finally ebbs away.


Rik - 29/06/2006




Poetry by Rik The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 771 times
Written on 2006-06-30 at 00:58

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Rob Graber
Pain powerfully expressed. The first stanza I find especially striking.
2006-08-12



This gives me a sense of utter abandonment...
"and the sun begs forth another day
and when the crows can feast no more
the last of my shadow
finally
ebbs away"
2006-07-02


Malin Johansson
A very very beautiful poem here... full of imagery!!! Wow! this poem took me away!!
Regards
2006-06-30


Christian Ward
makes you want to sigh
2006-06-30


Kathy Lockhart The PoetBay support member heart!
Great Title! Even greater poetry here with vivid methaphors and images. The loss and sorrow are as deafening as the unbearable noise of the rushing train! kathy
2006-06-30


lastromantichero The PoetBay support member heart!
Hi thre Rik a brilliantl piece that takes the reader into the writers heartache of the final parting I like the metaphor of the train leaving reminds me of an English contemporary Folk song from Northumberland called Leaving Nancy well done rgds mike
2006-06-30


Mr.Mist
...I think this was kinda sweet, and sad at the same time.......

-mr.m
2006-06-30