It was with me, part of me,

for such an extended period

of time in my life, it felt like

it's who I am, it's what life

is like, I knew nothing else.

Now that it's gone, it feels

like something is missing,

and the resulting emotions

are leaving me conflicted

and somewhat bemused.

That part was by any standard

truly horrible, so there's no

possibility that I'm missing it

being around, yet, something is

creating a void like an essential

part of me has vanished now.

It's a strange thing to be feeling,

considering its destructive nature,

it makes no sense to be missing it.

Wondering what's going on with that.