In the space of a few hours,

my mind geared up to head

toward the destructive side

and imagine every possible

damage I can cause myself

I don't know why exhaustion

always leads me in this direction

it's like an automatic response

that always quickly overtakes me

and makes the danger get real

It scares me when I'm here

'cause I'm too aware it's a

moment's notice for things

to desintegrate, for control to

be lost, and for blood to spill

I don't know why my mind

reacts this way and slips into

it easily, craving and obsessing

over warped notions that lack any

sense, wanting to destroy myself

And the most disturbing of it

is the great sense of satisfaction

I feel watching blood come out 

And feeling the burn on the skin

It's just fucked up all the way

Whenever I feel this destructive

side come, it convinces me that

I'm defective in a way that can't

be fixed seeing as this is still around

when life is nothing as it used to be

I'll do my best to not succumb

but I'm not sure I'll be successful

I'm feeling very driven to feel it

and to see it, it's this satisfaction

that would make me feel better now

It's just fucked up all the way

And I'm so, so sorry...