- hard to explain because it makes no sense... 

So disappointed with myself,

With how this part is not resolving,

How my weakness hinders control,

How I worry everyone who cares.

This kind of attention is unwanted,

It's horrifying and embarrassing.

I'd give anything to keep it secret,

But that's never the outcome of it.

To see how your face looks when

You see what I've managed to do,

It kills me,

It really does.

I know apologies won't change

Anything, what's done is done.

But I am truly sorry to put you

Through this, it's hard to explain.

Please believe me when I say

Hurting you isn't my intention.

Something's wrong with me,

I'm trying really hard to fix it.

And evidently, I'm not quite there yet...