- no doubt this should be discussed with a professional, but there is no professional in my life right now... any thoughts welcome...

I need to deconstruct

A very flawed sense

Of satisfaction about

Causing myself to bleed.

My wires got crossed

Along the way, I think

Perhaps it's a remnant

Of a childhood association

Whereby it makes me feel

A deep solace, so pleasant

I want to revisit it again

Maybe that's what's going on

I started making myself

Bleed when I was around 10

It was my way for some control

Through all I was made to endure

It doesn't make much sense now

But it truly was the best relief

However, today, there's no such

Distress left in my life, so I don't know

It's just about seeing and feeling

Blood come out of me as if it was

Perfectly normal to want to do that

I know it isn't, but here we are anyway

I need to deconstruct

A very flawed sense

Of satisfaction about

Causing myself to bleed.

How do I do that?