Or:

He Will Never Love Me; I Think I Must be the Stupidest Person in the World Because Even Though I am Rationally Aware that He Will Never Love Me, I Still Expect Something Out of Him, and I Still Love Him, and I Cannot Fucking Stop.



Why I'll Never Let the Idea of Him Go.

Hey,
how are you?

Good to see you.

How long has it been?
Oh?
Two months?

Glad to see
you're as happy about this
whole reunion thing
as I am.

Let me tell you
a bald-faced lie.

I just
want to find out
if you're really
paying attention to me
or not.

I just
wanted you to know

I'm so glad for you

because
I see
you got new shoes

and that's just great
because

you used to
track shit all over
the nice, clean floor
in those old ones
that you had for
maybe a year,

and you'd make everything dirty
and I always
had to go behind
and pick up the mud
and the tequila
and your moon-angel silhouette
and my 4 a.m. memories -

and

it sort of
hurt to carry all that around
with me all the time just
because
you're so irresponsible that
you can't take off your
damn shoes
so
you used to
track shit all over
the nice, clean floor

and I am so
very glad for you
that you got those nice,
clean new shoes.

I think
you should also know

that I only know
so much about your
damn shoes

because

if I look at your
face for too long,
I
will get lost
in your eyes;
I
will achingly re-memorize every
perfect flaw on your cheekbones;
I
will never sleep
at night
because
I
will be too busy
thinking about
kissing your
sarcastically curling lips

so

I

am really just
so, so glad for you
that you got new shoes because

you never wanted to walk around
with a piece of me,
anyway.

(I never had you,
and I never will,
and those
damn shoes
that I followed down
moon-paths in
the glorious January night
were
always pretty ugly,
if you really
wanted to know.)




Poetry by MiVidaDeEpílogos.
Read 782 times
Written on 2006-08-17 at 08:27

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Nugget
this is possibly the best poem i have read in the past month. you are an amazing writer, pretty heart wrenching and so bold.
2006-09-19


Inked.
A lot, if you must know.
2006-08-18


Inked.
My heart fucking hurts.
2006-08-18


Kathy Lockhart
Well expressed! Those images are fantastic in the revealing of your true feelings in each line. Each line leads to the truth. Letting go is hard to do because it is our hearts that hold on long after our minds reject the thoughts of loving someone such as this. kathy
2006-08-17


Janine>K
I've been there before...and one thing for sure, it was very hard...
I like the way you would rather think of his shoes..like you would rather be distracted before you get lost in him (or get hurt thinking of him)... I liked your poem....
Janine
2006-08-17