Have you ever wondered what you might do with that odd shoe you find by the kerb on New Year's Day? Well, read on!


There's a tired trainer
In the motorway's fast lane,
A soggy glove in the gutter
Never to be waved again,
A designer boot on the railing,
Pointing to the sky,
It was the wearer's failing
Not to be able to fly,
So many odd assets,
So many hapless halves,
What can one do with these found facets
Of a person's feet, hands, or calves?
I'll form a dating agency based on lost property,
Helping to unite shoes by Jimmy Choo and twin sets by Liberty,
I'll place adverts with discretion, sensitivity and care,
Like: 'Chelsea boot, size 10, seeks outing with similar footwear',
Or: 'Ladies black leather glove wishes to shake hands with its pair'.
I'll become rich from marrying the multifarious finds,
And famous for restoring missing links of different kinds,
I'll go on programmes like 'This Morning' and 'Breakfast News',
Giving my ample advice on what to wear and what to lose!
Enough of this idle speculation, it's much too early to gloat,
I'd visit the bank with a business plan but I can't find my coat.

Chris Fernie, 2008

Poetry by Chris Fernie
Read 525 times
Written on 2006-08-20 at 20:24

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email (requires login)
dott Print text