Current Mood: the same
Current Music: "Sons of Northern Darkness" - Immortal

NOTE: 2004 12 16 08H32 EST The Awakening - a friend, a knife, an assault, a coma, an awakening...

The Awakening

awakening’s a bitter, dissolving deception
coursing like a rush, a punch-like violation
death, out-tricked, boils with vindictive fury
to this day still casting on me the penalty

my eyes opened to be attacked by the room’s light
was a bustle all around me, this musn’t be right
confusion before realization could set me straight
policemen nearly rushing, couldn’t anymore wait

gaps inhabit the spaces of my guarded memory
but every single image remains so accurately
tears, heavy disappointment flowed, i survived
convinced pain’s doom will stay around to thrive

years indicate how so far it’s true…
the calmness of the « sleep » through -
a cruel hanging for a shattered life suffocating
wishes form in me to be back to safety, dreaming

now the dreams that surface in sleep kill me
slowly they’re leading me down to insanity
couldn’t be graced with an amnesic mind
terror and blood is all it can today find

unable to move, was feeling my soul slipping
through the painful cuts my life was seeping
then total darkness decided to release
a mind from consciousness, to appease

battered senseless and left behind to die…
appreciation for the miracle would be a lie
'cause never forgotten will the day of the awakening be
heaven reached then snatched, grandest of all misery

peace was denied.


Words by Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 902 times
Written on 2005-09-13 at 02:31

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one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
This is a devastatingly fine poem, I've never read anything like it, and doubt I'll ever read another so real and unflinching.

I hadn't read these earlier works of yours. Such powerful words and emotions! Fantastic poem.

Karen Canning
this piece take the readers mind on a trip of every emotional sense, the ending is so powerful, you write with a pen dipped in a very poetic brilliant ink well


i remember the first time i read this piece, it still holds its strength now, the sign of powerful writing.

"The awakening" was for a grand reason.

Rik The PoetBay support member heart!
A very dark moment of paradox expressed with such clarity. I found the slower i read it the better and more haunting it became.

You write about such intense personal feelings with an accomplished ability.

Sofiul Azam
You are far better poet than you think. But writing not in regular meter but using rhymes is not or should be expected of you. I am talking about the technical problems but not about the context of the poem or the poem itself. This is certainly a good poem.

I want to read more of your work; and I will always be there whenever you want any kind of help you will need to better yourself as a confident poet who doesn't care for mere popularity but for true artistic realisation. Thanks for all that.

chasingtheday The PoetBay support member heart!
life is for living my friend, though i know all too well the feelings of wanting it to end, we must get passed them though :)