Current Mood: tired
Current Music: "The Quiet Place" - In Flames

NOTE: 2005 09 19 02H07 EST Triolet 2 - Society Glitch _ second attempt




Society Glitch



Innocence without viable resource,
But the eyes of her population,
Disturbed by her life's course,
Move along a familiar discourse.

Giving a child no other recourse,
Pushing further into desperation.
Innocence without viable resource,
But the eyes of her population...





Words by F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 346 times
Written on 2005-09-24 at 14:48

Tags Triolet 

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email (requires login)
dott Print text


Commentally Ill
well this is bright and chirpy, the whole thing smacks of delight :)

ok, not really, what does a smartass say to this? not much. another try:

for a second attempt, it looks more like a third? (no, even as i type it i know that sounds shitty.) hell with it then, i'll have to go the serious route:

i do so very like it... which has a lot to do with why i'm speechless ;) impressive, my talented friend....

:)
2005-09-25


blackestdaze
i can't write one of these for the life of me and have it come out decent. you however, seem like a cat stretching its body into a natural shape - form. and you say you are not a poet! could've fooled me, poetess, for indeed that is what you are :)
2005-09-24


epohonci
(gives you a hell-yeah) and a 5 ;)
2005-09-24


chasingtheday The PoetBay support member heart!
smiling - you should be proud, i know you have wanted to have a go at the forms for a long time now, i am glad i could persuade you to do so :)
2005-09-24