This poem describes what I feel and what it is like in my shoes. Bipolar disorder, a mental illness that basically means 'Manic aggression and/or depression'.


Bottling up the anger, scaffolding the insides of me,
Channelling through my blood, vitrifying these fists.
Tears only travelling once I had gotten home,
I have changed commands, building up these lists.

Word of influence, trying only to settle me again,
Going through my mind, repeating itself in a convolution.
Looking at the floor, obscuring thumb on thumb,
My head filled with bullying memories, pollution.

My heart continues to race, as this fear flows freely,
Trembling, guilty to the additional rope to hang myself.
No religion to seek advice, which path to take?
No control in my mind, decaying my health.

A love full child, still seeking better acceptance,
The world seems to be waiting, until I return again.
I'm broken, ripped apart, stamped on with hidden detail,
I find it hard to hold back, breathe and maintain.

Connecting my bloody knuckles onto this wall,
Splintering my morals, cracking up my aims to dust.
Pushing myself in a room, in a room so black,
I can't find the way out, no way to return adjust.

Poetry by John Ashleigh
Read 903 times
Written on 2005-09-27 at 18:07

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Wow - you really express your self here... In a beautiful and naked way.

"cracking up my aims to dust."

So beautiful! =)

Sofiul Azam
Hi, this poem is a wonderful one, and you may be proud of having written it by the time you have made up your mind to go on creatively in your life. Congratulation on your poem.

Dear, I am really scared to say any further, because I have found that misunderstanding is the doctrine much practised now, and every impersonal thing I have said about the tasks writers face is treated as something very personal. But anyway, I could not but praise your poetic efforts.

chasingtheday The PoetBay support member heart!
bipolar/manic depression, something i have suffered with since a child. a common disorder nowadays. we have to fight as best we can and move with life, hopefully into positive ways.

good luck with earning a crust from poetry! unless very fortunate, it is a hard business to earn from unless you teach and do workshops or the like.