A minute memory- I fell in the sea when I was a small child.


Subsumed

Bladderwrack slaps
white flesh thrashes
fades into wombtrust drift
embryo eyes saltsting
full fathom five
father lies
no jewels
no fantastic fish exist
only tumbled seabed stones
smooth rattlehissed by tides
slimed stones
seaweed slippery
embrace
unworn stillborn dreams
life unformed
too soon to succumb
in grey waves.




Poetry by Erased
Read 585 times
Written on 2005-09-30 at 14:46

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Commentally Ill
oh, sure a fantastic fish exists, they just recently photographed a giant squid, 26 feet if i'm not mistaken.
2005-10-01


John Ashleigh
I love how you have no commar or fullstop at the end of any line but the end, it makes the sentances short and fast and makes it that little more jumpy. The fullstop at the end just gives it that quick hault, and nothing appears after that. As if, who you are writing about, has just gone there and then. A very good text.
2005-09-30


chasingtheday The PoetBay support member heart!
arr a fear-filled time, i know of a couple of people who have nearly drowned when young and hold fear of water now. my only little niggling in this poem is the use of thy, just something personal with me as i always tend to think we never really use that language in everyday speech. of course it is still used in poetry. just a pet hate of mine i suppose. alliteration rich this.

please take the time to visit others in the site who post work?
2005-09-30