in my brain there is only one true love for everone so i thought i would just post this as a journal type thing
The past I had with the only person I think that I will ever love
Yes I know that would have to be the most corniest thing a person could say but this is what I think is true.
From the man on the silver screen that looks like my beloved, two movies with him in the on the same night, within hours of each other, to me thinking about nothing but him all day.
What could heavenly father be trying to tell me? Is he thinking of me too, does he still remember the good times we had, I know I do, I cant seem to get them out of my head.
Or is this just something that I am willing to happen, which means its all in my head and there is nothing else to say about it. Am I that "emotionally connected" to someone that doesn't give a damn about me.
If so then that would have to be the sickest joke that the "powers that be" could ever play on an unknowing person. That would have to be the greatest pain and suffering that I could go thru.
Yes I choose not to get involved with another man, because I still think that the man I love will still come back into my life and be with me, so that we can get married, have children and then live happily ever after, but I think that deep down I kno that will never happen, but its still nice having that thought isn't it!
One of the most amazing memories of him would be the first time I ever saw him. It was in my science class, we were half way through another boring lesson when the door of the classroom swung open, and like out of a movie there was this almighty light and then entered this stunning guy, in a tight white shirt and tighter black pants, with beautiful brown hair that feel over his model-like face.
It was the beginging of the rest of my life, I thought I was going to faint, he was so amazing, so cute and so looking at me? To my utter disbelief this god-like creature was coming to sit in the same area as me. I must have looked like an idiot because I could feel the smile on my face getting even bigger and more like a pop stars fan seeing their idol for the first time in person.
He had this amazing presents about him that I only seemed to get. I felt like I was being born again and seeing the world for the first time, I remember think what a stuck up self absorbed prick he must have been, which was the complete opposite, but there was one thing that I knew was true, he wouldn't bother looking in my direction because I was the butt of every joke at that hell hole they called a high school.
I was fat and frumpy, but when I look back on it now I wasn't that big, all the other chick were just as thin as rails, I couldn't have been that big because I bearly ate anything, like most teenagers.
Getting back to the story, the next week was a bit of a blur, the high point of my week was this guy named Shane sitting next to me, then all of a sudden he was talking to me, "what the hell, I must be dreaming" is all I could think, over the next few days we talked and got to know each other, then he was sitting with my friend and I, then within 2 weeks I was dating him, I never knew I had it in me to ask a guy out, but I did, that wasn't the amazing part of it though, the amazing part was that e actually said yes.
I only did it because I was egged on by a friend, but It was the best thing that I ever did, of course I didn't just come out and say "hey I think I love you" as per the usual ritual of asking a guy out in high school, you do it via an innocent note.
This blossoming love became the talk of the entire school, I was still a joke to them but I didn't care at all, why, because I was in love, or was it infatuation?
I can still taste our first kiss, feel the first time we made love, which was very awkward, hear when he sang me "our" song, which was "don't want to miss a thing" by aerosmith. To this day I still feel the tears welling up in my eyes whenever I hear this song, I used to turn it off or change the channel when ever it came on but now I just smile on the outside and cry on the inside.
I am not a person that likes to draw attention to myself. When I'm sad I like to be left alone, I don't want sympathy, I find good and bad stuff easier to go thru by being alone.
Anyway this love that I am talking so much about has all but burnt out, the candle has extinguished and the amburs of a once hot fire are all that is left for me to cling to. But I am a very clingy person, at least that's why I was dumped, for caring too much.
How can a person care to much, I know men see it as annoying but women see it as love. A woman longs to be loved by her man, she would do anything to be with him even if he is a emotionally challenged person that only cares about himself and getting laid.
Diary by skye saddington
Read 431 times
Written on 2006-11-20 at 11:43
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endless love
All the signs are reminding me of the pastThe past I had with the only person I think that I will ever love
Yes I know that would have to be the most corniest thing a person could say but this is what I think is true.
From the man on the silver screen that looks like my beloved, two movies with him in the on the same night, within hours of each other, to me thinking about nothing but him all day.
What could heavenly father be trying to tell me? Is he thinking of me too, does he still remember the good times we had, I know I do, I cant seem to get them out of my head.
Or is this just something that I am willing to happen, which means its all in my head and there is nothing else to say about it. Am I that "emotionally connected" to someone that doesn't give a damn about me.
If so then that would have to be the sickest joke that the "powers that be" could ever play on an unknowing person. That would have to be the greatest pain and suffering that I could go thru.
Yes I choose not to get involved with another man, because I still think that the man I love will still come back into my life and be with me, so that we can get married, have children and then live happily ever after, but I think that deep down I kno that will never happen, but its still nice having that thought isn't it!
One of the most amazing memories of him would be the first time I ever saw him. It was in my science class, we were half way through another boring lesson when the door of the classroom swung open, and like out of a movie there was this almighty light and then entered this stunning guy, in a tight white shirt and tighter black pants, with beautiful brown hair that feel over his model-like face.
It was the beginging of the rest of my life, I thought I was going to faint, he was so amazing, so cute and so looking at me? To my utter disbelief this god-like creature was coming to sit in the same area as me. I must have looked like an idiot because I could feel the smile on my face getting even bigger and more like a pop stars fan seeing their idol for the first time in person.
He had this amazing presents about him that I only seemed to get. I felt like I was being born again and seeing the world for the first time, I remember think what a stuck up self absorbed prick he must have been, which was the complete opposite, but there was one thing that I knew was true, he wouldn't bother looking in my direction because I was the butt of every joke at that hell hole they called a high school.
I was fat and frumpy, but when I look back on it now I wasn't that big, all the other chick were just as thin as rails, I couldn't have been that big because I bearly ate anything, like most teenagers.
Getting back to the story, the next week was a bit of a blur, the high point of my week was this guy named Shane sitting next to me, then all of a sudden he was talking to me, "what the hell, I must be dreaming" is all I could think, over the next few days we talked and got to know each other, then he was sitting with my friend and I, then within 2 weeks I was dating him, I never knew I had it in me to ask a guy out, but I did, that wasn't the amazing part of it though, the amazing part was that e actually said yes.
I only did it because I was egged on by a friend, but It was the best thing that I ever did, of course I didn't just come out and say "hey I think I love you" as per the usual ritual of asking a guy out in high school, you do it via an innocent note.
This blossoming love became the talk of the entire school, I was still a joke to them but I didn't care at all, why, because I was in love, or was it infatuation?
I can still taste our first kiss, feel the first time we made love, which was very awkward, hear when he sang me "our" song, which was "don't want to miss a thing" by aerosmith. To this day I still feel the tears welling up in my eyes whenever I hear this song, I used to turn it off or change the channel when ever it came on but now I just smile on the outside and cry on the inside.
I am not a person that likes to draw attention to myself. When I'm sad I like to be left alone, I don't want sympathy, I find good and bad stuff easier to go thru by being alone.
Anyway this love that I am talking so much about has all but burnt out, the candle has extinguished and the amburs of a once hot fire are all that is left for me to cling to. But I am a very clingy person, at least that's why I was dumped, for caring too much.
How can a person care to much, I know men see it as annoying but women see it as love. A woman longs to be loved by her man, she would do anything to be with him even if he is a emotionally challenged person that only cares about himself and getting laid.
Diary by skye saddington
Read 431 times
Written on 2006-11-20 at 11:43
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
