Intro


Untitled.

There are many ways to describe me, but the only one that really fits is egotistical. In my entire sixteen worthless years of existence not once have I bothered to help or do anything for anyone other then myself. People have gone as far as calling me a wise-ass, but hey, if it's true who cares?

I learned long ago that if you can't please yourself you won't be able to survive. Whether its making the little challenges for yourself or confusing the hell out of others with incessant ramblins, you gotsta stay fly wit it yo!


Maybe now would be a good time for a more formal introduction. My name is Johnathon Cornelius Darwin but everyone calls me Dewey...not really sure why though. I go to Philips Exodur, one of the top prep schools in the United States of America, and I was born in Ottowa, Canada. I'm tall, muscular, and if I do say so myself quite handsome. Everywhere I go i'm complimented on my rich accent. I'm fluent in french as well as english and have a terrible knack for swearing.


I remember the days before my parents sent me to boarding school with plenty of hugs and kisses. I was homeschooled, for one, which made it very easy for me to hone in on my natural talents, one of which was whistleling. I could whistle to any tune you could think of, and to pass time on those empty days I would compose my own whistleling symphonies. I could spend hours upon hours in my room whisteling. whisteling was fun, but debates with my father were far more exciting.


My father, George Arthur Darwin, was a very famous lawyer known throughout the world. He took co-credit with Thomas Keister Greer on the Moonshine Conspiracy Theory of 1936 and took full credit in the R&L Monopoly Break of 1945. My old man was a profound figure in every way shape and form. He had astounding posture, a bass voice and deep, mysterious blue-grey eyes that left you wondering if you even knew him at all.

I remember when I was a goddam runt I figured something out. I learned that arguing doesn't get you anywhere in life, and that if you did't have a solid point and backround knowledge to begin with there's no point in contradicting someone. I learned this the day my father began debating with me, I was seven years old.

"Son, you may yell and scream all you'd like but you have already lost this debate. You're tactless decisions and elementary mistakes have left you in an irrevocable predicament. Now what say you to going out with your old man for his coffee!?" Needless to say, I went with him.

I learned a lot that day. Most of my learnings were vocabulary words and the like, but i also learned uite a abit about my fathers charismatic side. He could be inadequately described as intimidating, driven to a point of recklessness when he feels greedy, and goofy as a drunkard when he was, well, drunk. I saw all of those aspects in him one day, it just so happened to be Christmas.

I remember that day all to well. I woke up earlier then our butler, which in our family, is an impressive feat. I looked out my window and observed the left wings garden. Frost lined the lawn so that it seemed a a sugar coating had been spread over night. Drearily, I slipped out from under the covers of my queen sized bed and swung my legs over the side. I touched my feet down against the cold, wooden floor and shivered. Grabbing my robe I made my way down the hall. Down the spiral staircase I went, clutching my robes for extra warmth, as I made my way for the entertainment wing. I go there frequently, as it is always quiet there. It is the section of the house where I may do as I please without being disturbed, so I frequently went simply to think.



to be continued.




Short story by I !z 0b[s]cene!
Read 795 times
Written on 2007-01-05 at 04:31

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Painful Profits
not to shabby mate...whats next??
2007-01-05