This was written specifically for someone who was finding it hard to trust in me


Let it go (true story)

Girl, I've been sitting down thinking of ways to say this to you
How I'm the same as you, I've got feelings too
I want you to listen real close cause all that follows is completely true
Once you've taken it in want you to tell me what it is we should do

I've been through my share of anger, heartache and pain
Had a front row seat to some of the worst scenes in life
Not graced with blinkers but cursed with an intuitive brain
Causing the most insignificant slight to cut through me like a knife

As I sit down and think of some of the people I've met
The ones who've contributed to some of the desolation I've felt
When I think back and wonder about some of the company I've kept
It'd be so much easier for me to succumb to the heat and just melt

I've been wronged in the past, had my trust taken for granted
When the one person I thought I could trust let me down in such a way
That the seeds of doubt that I could trust again had been planted
Never wanted to feel that pain again, not now, not any day

I reverted to my default mode, that was trusting only in myself
Invested my feelings in work and emotionally un-involving things mostly
But at some point I realised that this wasn't good for my mental health
Had this unshakeable, unnerving feeling that it wasn't right to be lonely

I wasn't born to be cold, emotionless, dispassionate or unfeeling
I was instead created to be affecting, impassioned sentimental and warm
I started to realise the problems with which I hadn't been dealing
My head was telling me one thing, my heart telling me another, goddamn I was torn

I wanted to let myself go, be the person that I knew I was destined to be
Since a child I'd always known just how much love I had to give
My heart felt so imprisoned, wanted more than anything for it to regain it's liberty
So I could start to breath again, stop holding my breath, learn again how to live

But just like it is when I need to write, I needed inspiration from a muse
Someone to re-ignite the passion, help me regain the part of my soul I couldn't find
Tormented by my options but consoled myself with the fact I was still able to choose
It meant that if nothing else, I was still in control of my prize asset, my mind

Went through the same scenarios with people that entered my life
Just when I started trusting, my apprehension made me turn them away
Didn't want just a girlfriend or a lover, what I wanted was a partner, a wife
And for that position to be filled I had to stick by my principles come what may

Was starting to lose hope my faith was waning, felt lost, stranded and dejected
Cause of stupid pride don't like to admit it but I was starting to lose my sanity
Then all of a sudden out of nowhere she arrived as if I'd been finally selected
To reconcile my perceptions and my psyche with the rest of humanity

She made me feel safe like I needed to be, an extra set of eyes to watch my back
She made feel wanted like the inexplicable birth to an infertile couple
She made me feel complimented like I was a hit movie and she was the award winning soundtrack
Her approach to life was often dynamic but her delicate nature made her also appear subtle

I felt renewed, had a new lease of life, these feelings rediscovered how priceless they were
Had regained all the emotions and feelings I'd lost, no longer felt forlorn
Those close to me said I looked happy and the way that I felt I just had to concur
The only way she could have made me happier was in the future with the arrival of our firstborn

Through her eyes I'd once again learnt to trust in the goodness of a person
With her persona she'd converted me into a realist no longer a dreamer
We all have our own slant on our individual stories but this is my version
Oh. And in case you didn't know, that person was you Valentina




Poetry by lifescholar
Read 470 times
Written on 2007-10-08 at 14:00

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