Liquor Breath

Can't fully concentrate visually
consumed a bottle of Bundy
Liqour breath gets behind the wheel
120 - no big deal

speeding for adrenalin thrill
slippery road and lack of driving skill
sideways once or twice
speed up more because it feels nice

Unroadworthy car pushed to its limit
still trying to get more speed out of it
In a racing mode... so dangerous
lack of driving skill ridiculous

foot right to the floor
brake for nothing anymore
lines on the road

No others survive but he's still breathing

He doesn't comprehend the sorrow
but he may when he's sober tomorrow
life can change in a second flat
and never ever changes back




Words by Helen Warren
Read 478 times
Written on 2008-07-31 at 16:37

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John Lambremont, Sr.
Let me clarify. I like the poem, the rhymes, and the sentiment. I do disgree with Bengt about the tense and flow of the line he cited.
2008-07-31


John Lambremont, Sr.
I completely disgree with both those assertions, Bengt.
2008-07-31


Bob
You are good, your rhymes comes so easily.
Just one thing the line: "No others survive but he's still breathing" should have the same tense as the rest of the poem and that line doesn't flow.
Bengt
2008-07-31