about an old love that I feel bad for the way it ended.


Indian Giver (i turned my back)

You are a shadow now. And I can't conjure the image that was printed on my eyelids after each breath between us. The words I draw are heavy and reluctant, hanging onto the tissues of my mind with tiny frozen fingers. I feel I need to put you to phrases. But I've thrown all my effort into forgetting it all. Pushed my shoulder against the door to keep your memory out. Put the blinders made of distance up because I didn't want to hurt. I didn't need to see the destruction lain in my wake, the razor blades of silence, pins and needles of new love. You're numb and alone and So thick in my dust as I sped off that I don't see you. Because I turned my back. Out of sight, out of my mind, but I know I sit in yours, fermenting, stewing in God knows what. And I've rooted a poison in you. because I turned my back. And I tore you down, I ripped you up and sent your million peices to the wind. And I have searched for those fragments but time has snatched them away from me and it served me right. Because I turned my back, and the world went on behind it. I didn't want the problems of another clamoring in my head, i was trying to prevent the premature death of my found soft silence. I turned away from each piercing smile each sodden tear each silly word written on paper and sent to you. I took away those promises of forever and the poems of true love. Obsolete ideas, I paid them no mind, they held no weight. Turned away from the safety in your arms, hidden in the eye of the storm as hell broke loose around us. I blamed it on change, the innevitability as time passes and tears the canvas down with relentless fingernails. I can't say what's to blame but I know I'm the only one at fault. I know I was wrong but there's no going back now. the current is strong and you're out of my grasp.
I want this to speak appologies. I don't know how I wrote this, it was not planned. But now that it's out the first step has been taken. Just believe me when I say I'm sorry.




Poetry by Sparks
Read 430 times
Written on 2009-10-29 at 19:15

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