Please my fellow advocates of Literature I ask you to read and critique this story, your opinions and reservations would be much appreciated.

The Lotus Dancer

There was once a Tiger, vein, selfish, ferocious was he. Trapped was

the Lotus Dancer, graceful & ever beautiful as can be. The Tiger kept

her as a slave in a great Tower of Ivory where she was forced to do as he

would say or else she would be dealt with unkindly. Next to her prison

was a vast Lotus Pond where she was made to pick the flowers and on

the Lily pads dance upon. The beast needed the petals for a bed you see,

his fur was too precious to get ruffled or dirty. The task was not simple, it

caused much strain and strife but she did it gracefully, it would save her her


One evening not far in the forest there was an Archer, full of courage,

strength and bravery, who listened for the sounds of the animals he was after

but instead heard a crying from our dancing lady. The sight was awful tears

streamed down her face he fell for the beauty and thus her pain could not

take. Time was important this he could not waste but the Tiger stood guard

so for now he must wait. It was dark and the Dancer picked countless

blossoms, she was quite tired, the Tiger returned with a snarl, it was time to

make his bed. She placed each petal near a brilliant fire with such haste

eager to leave the tiger to rest his head.

Laying the petals down perfectly was arduous to say the least,

exhausted she made to retire to the Ivory Tower. Suddenly she was startled

by a rustling from behind the trees, and from that same place stepped out the

Archer. It can only be explained as Love at First Sight, in her world of

misery he was her only light. The Archer said: "Come with me distressed

maiden! Come let us runaway!" But the Dancer would say: "I cannot go

with you I must remain the Tiger will kill me if I leave his domain!"

This he could not take nor understand, did she want to stay in this

oppressive land? He would not let his love for her die for this he could not

lie, her smell of perfume and fragrant oil would conjure his unending toil.

Before to the tower room above, before the heartbreaking goodbye

she brought him a token of her love. Hidden behind her back she returned

with the gift and then brought it to his eye. It was a Lotus Flower. He cupped

the tiny blue bud of this lovely flower. With a kiss he bid her farewell until

tomorrow when he would take her away from this hell.

At the break of dawn the beast arose and at that time the Archer was

already on his toes. The orange and black striped creature sipped water from

the ponds edge. The Archer pulled the arrow against his bow to deliver the

first blow. The arrow soared and landed at the Tiger's feet frightened he

stepped back and then sniffed the air then he smelt it, the Archer's fear. He

ran after the man who would soon be his prey... All the while the dancer

stood at the tower gate in disbelief of what might be the Archer's fate.

Hours later a figure approached her heart raced she was filled with

hope. Out of the thicket surfaced the Tiger blood upon his claws and face.

The Tiger then glared at the woman who had betrayed him, a grim smile

traced his face and he roared through the air to sound his victory: " You are

forever chained and bound to ME!!". At that moment when all hope was lost

a spear flew through the air with aim ever true. It pierced the Tiger's heart

and as he lay motionless the Dancer noticed something and it was blue. She

approached still fearful and saw the blue Lotus flower wrapped around the

Archer's arrow and her face became wet with tears happy tears. Out from

the same area from wear the Tiger arose stood the handsome figure wearing

bloodstained clothes. She ran to him fear and carefree to live a life that

would end happily just as she wanted and just as it should be.

The End

Copywright Bekim Rauseo 2006

Words by Bekim Rauseo
Read 550 times
Written on 2006-02-15 at 02:04

Tags Fantasy 

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Zoya Zaidi
Wow! Bekim, what a story teller you are!
I was mesmerised by your tale!!!
Though long, I did not feel the lenght , so engrossed was I in the story, to know what came next! And is the real art of story telling!
Must say:" You are a find!"
Welcome again to the bay dear Bekim!
Love, xxx, Zoya