Teardrops knock

Teardrops knock
This way home
They seem to say




Poetry by Zoey Jane
Read 448 times
Written on 2010-02-27 at 06:19

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jenks The PoetBay support member heart!
zoey jane i have read several of your poems and have enjoyed doing so.
this short poem is the kind of thing i enjoy writing and reading.
somehow it seems to fall a little short of the mark...
i have never been "knocked" home for example :)
i wonder if you have considered turning this into a haiku?
i only suggest of course...
i get the point of it and think it is worth a little more work.
when we write these short things they need a lot of precision and have to use words that deliver the message with a punch!
thanks for listening and i look forward to reading more from you.
best regards
linda x

Language: 4
Format: 4
Mood: 3
Overall: 4
2010-03-06


ken d williams The PoetBay support member heart!
Teardrops run down the paine , wash it a way , we hope.
Ken

Language: 5
Format: 5
Mood: 4
Overall: 5
2010-02-27