zoey jane i have read several of your poems and have enjoyed doing so.
this short poem is the kind of thing i enjoy writing and reading.
somehow it seems to fall a little short of the mark...
i have never been "knocked" home for example :)
i wonder if you have considered turning this into a haiku?
i only suggest of course...
i get the point of it and think it is worth a little more work.
when we write these short things they need a lot of precision and have to use words that deliver the message with a punch!
thanks for listening and i look forward to reading more from you.
Language: 4 Format: 4 Mood: 3 Overall: 4 2010-03-06
ken d williams
Teardrops run down the paine , wash it a way , we hope.
Language: 5 Format: 5 Mood: 4 Overall: 5 2010-02-27