Title suggestions are more than welcome:) and constructive criticism of course:)

Interference - Mimulus


Take the silence from my lips Not out of pompous frivolity but out of effortless spontaneity When you smile the sprightly fire silently spreads and reaches my heart and I can only feel the feather light weight of your palm on my shoulder like when a butterfly lands, balances on a tip of a flower being voluntarily drawn and captured in the depth of yours eyes and the sound of your shoe heel one step closer. . . a breath away while our shadows meet on the marble floor ... becoming the silence
















Photo: Wild mimulus bigelovii aka
Bigelow's monkeyflower
uploaded by
Stan Shebs on wiki.

Poetry by night soul woman The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 847 times
Written on 2011-04-05 at 23:20

Tags Love  Passion  Moment 

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email (requires login)
dott Print text

Stan Cooper The PoetBay support member heart!
Very interesting write...

How about this for a title...."A Breath Away"

xxx Stan

Rob Graber
The simile likening hand on shoulder to butterfly on flower is very nifty! What a contrast to the hardness of the marble floor. All told, I like the imagery--even if I'm not keen on the pink/orange combo...


In a brief few lines all five senses are invoked. I'm terrible at titles and it would be presumptuous anyway. There is simply a very sensitive writer completely in touch with her feelings here.