Just remembering the story
Wish I was more in practice at writing
I hate the beginning of the school year



Veronica

Smoothly she glides across the lake
Ice-skating goddess
My beautiful dear

Not so elegant in form
As in aura
My one and only

She stumbles once or twice
But does not fall
My light from heaven

We shared our stories
Our shames and glories
Our communal destiny

Our night so late
Yet so short
We hate that it should end

One soul in two
Our paths cross forever until
We converge.




Poetry by Ducks
Read 627 times
Written on 2011-08-28 at 04:46

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Neelima
Excellent piece of writing.
I like the simplicity and flow of language and thoughts.
Saving this as a bookmark!
2011-10-07


Sun.Moon.Stars.Rain
There are so, so many things I love about this piece. There's the beautiful, perfect simplicity of the structure. There are the strikingly original and breathtaking phrases like "Not so elegant in form/As in aura". There's the fact that the narrator starts out using "My" and transitions to "Our" halfway through. There's the subject matter. There's the last stanza. There are all the other stanzas. [But especially the last.]

...I could keep going, but I feel like you probably get the point by now.

No one I've ever met or will ever meet
In my entire life
Could ever come close to
Knowing me the way you do. I am

Very moved by this; it is perfection.
Each word belongs to each phrase,
Every phrase to every stanza.

-V.
2011-08-29


countryfog The PoetBay support member heart!
. . . the skates etching two lines and lives that merge into one. Nicely done.
2011-08-28