A form called Pantoum. The second and fourth lines of each stanza are repeated as the first and third lines of the next. Originally written in November 2012.


Dry pasture.

The pastures of dry wheat
Swaying desolate and thin.
The harsh beryl sky endless,
The sun a thrashing villain.

Swaying desolate and thin;
A lonesome bird glides low.
The sun a thrashing villain
With nothing good to bestow.

A lonesome bird glides low
Giving a sound so haunting.
With nothing good to bestow
And nothing to be found.

Giving a sound so haunting;
Screams from a nightmare.
And nothing to be found
For the pastures are bare.



Poetry by John Ashleigh
Read 954 times
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Written on 2013-02-14 at 00:33

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Commentally Ill
i'm glad to see a poem that finally casts the sun its proper light: as the villain. gave me a wicked sunburn, it did. *raises fist at the sky* but here, you have started to even the score. Us: 1, Sun: 2,878,925,433,171,832,221,988,453,275,113 nicely done. :)
2013-03-25


StillHoppin The PoetBay support member heart!
Excellent! This is fantastic - your idea is complemented perfectly by the form you have chosen. Well done!
2013-03-24


Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!
This text has been chosen to be featured on the front page of PoetBay. Thank you for posting it on our poetry web site.
2013-03-24



Classic. Didn't even feel the repetition unless I focused on the poem line by line. Smooth.
2013-02-15


Nils Teodor The PoetBay support member heart!
Cool poetry
I liked the read
Thanks for sharing
N T
2013-02-14


shells
This lovely form has a nice fluency even though the content is a little melancholy and unfortunately true in those parts of the world suffering from drought. I particularly liked the line "the sun a thrashing villain."
2013-02-14



This is a very nice union of form and content, I enjoyed it very much.
jim
2013-02-14


grizzedram
That's a really cool form of poetry and I like the images this conjures up. Are you a farmer? Also, I had to look up the word 'beryl' and all I found were chemistry sites, which is awesome.
2013-02-14