Inspired by a beat poem by Tim Minchin..... and coffee with a potential suitor who seemed much more fun online. But don't they all? ;)

The SS Unthinkable

He speaks of love and pain like one and the same
Faded jeans, hand rolled cigarette hanging from his bottom lip
And it's not that I don't like the fellow,
Fingers and teeth tobacco stained yellow...
But he's trying to tell me that the "Man" is going to take me down
And how every woman has treated him like a clown...
And looking at his shoes... battered and over-sized
I inwardly chuckle at how some could come to that conclusion....

"The trouble with women," he says, a finger in the air
"Is they don't understand, they nag and whine and don't put out,
It's no surprise guys have affairs, won't put on airs,
Hell they still expect us to pull out their chairs!"
"And yeah," he continues, "Chivalry is dead,
"I mean 'cause, let's face it, most women are screwed in the head..."
I'm thinking to myself, he's partially right, as the screw in my own
Is slowly loosening, threatening to unravel my resolve to remain silent...

I resist, sip at my bourbon, mentally preparing for the next tirade,
The next tsunami of bullshit to come tumbling out of his ashtray mouth
"You seem alright, not like the last bitch,
And hey," (he winks), "if you ever get an itch...
I'd be prepared to give it a good old scratch....
But don't you go thinking I'm your perfect match..."
And there it is, I've switched off now, I'm hearing Celine Dion
Singing as the iceberg that is now my heart, sinks another relationSHIP

The SS Unthinkable

Poetry by Purple Phoenix
Read 856 times
Written on 2014-05-06 at 17:43

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Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
Brilliant lol - there are some real priceless guys out there have had the misfortune to meet them too - and they wonder why no woman will touch them, thank you for the smile tonight

Elle x

This is so funny, not to mention disgusting!! I like that iceberg that protects your heart from the likes of him! I think I've run into him once or twice in my life ... just as disgusting ... wait, I am going to vomit. Great poem!!
2014-05-06 Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
He sounds a real charmer! lol Enjoyed this, very well put through, made my skin and patience crawl as though I was there.

Rob Graber
Very funny and clever! But it isn't just men, I suspect, who seem much more fun online!