Really somber...very unlike me.


As I sat in my blank room, surrounded by childhood memories, doing something my mother feared I would do, a little bit of me died.
I guaranteed myself that I'd only do it once, that I would only use the comatose white powder that now clouds my brain one single time. I wouldn't be like you, or anyone else, and I would beat the 100% addiction rate.
What's that? You don't do drugs? That's irrelevant. We're here to talk about me. I'm Casey, C-A-S-E-Y, and under brighter circumstances, I might just have introduced myself just now. I just might have.
Subtly, I took the hit. Subtly, not quickly, damn you! I'm not just another crack whore, eagerly snorting yet another life-affirming state of complacency that she has known since her youth! That's not me! I told you. I'm Casey.
And I guaranteed myself I would beat it. I would never be here, telling you about this entire experience, but I must tell you, that one hit blew my mind. Never before had my soul conjured up such miraculously colorful imagery! I could be back in my days of childhood, or something I had only dreamed of being: a character in a wildly successful recreation of a Shakesperian play, and I while I was high, no one could convince me otherwise.
I had to have more.
And so the cycle went on and on, and slowly, memories of the past, of the promise I made to myself to use only once slipped away and I found myself here, in front of you, today. Like a goddamn stage puppet, obeying its masterful strings that suspend its very existence in the air above a magical piece of scenery, I'm expected to give you morals.
You want a moral? Never do anything people tell you to.
How about another one? Throw your life into the gutter as soon, and if you're lucky, before age 21. All the best living is at the big two-one. You get to drink yourself into a stupor, and people think it's socially acceptable.
What better combination?
Plus, if you're able to make it past 21, you've got nothing else to live for, so why even bother? Think about it, before your youth fades away and you're not the big (wo)man on campus anymore, and slowly, your five credit cards are replaced with empty space and an AARP membership slogan inspiring you to do the best with your retirement, just live fast and die hard. You could be like this too.
You could be just like me.

Words by Lucas
Read 815 times
Written on 2006-05-01 at 02:43

Tags Decisions  Youth  Drugs 

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That was a hard-hitting message there. Even if it wasn't like your usual style. Have you ever considered submitting this to the school mag or the local paper? There is a very profound social conscience and voice in your writing.